Supporting a child through bereavement can add additional worry to an already challenging time. Young minds process loss differently from adults, and sometimes, the right words are hard to find. Children and your people may not have previous experience of bereavement and have developing emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
Books can be a powerful way to help children understand death, express their emotions, and find comfort in difficult times. It can help created a shared language about feelings and also share practical information about what they might expect at the funeral, or memory making activities that they might like to take part in.
In this article, we explore some carefully chosen books that offer gentle guidance and reassurance for children experiencing grief.
Why Books Can Help Children Understand Loss
Grief can be a complex and overwhelming process, especially for children who may not fully grasp the finality of death. Stories can help them explore their feelings in a safe and supportive way, introducing themes of loss, love, and remembrance in an accessible format. Books also provide an opportunity for parents, carers, and educators to start meaningful conversations and offer comfort.
Recommended Books for Children Coping with Loss
1. Waterbugs and Dragonflies – Doris Stickney
A simple yet profound story that uses the transformation of a waterbug into a dragonfly to explain death and the afterlife in a way that is easy for children to understand. It is particularly helpful for explaining loss from a spiritual or natural perspective.
2. The Invisible String – Patrice Karst
This beautifully written book reassures children that love remains even when someone is no longer physically present. It introduces the idea of an invisible string connecting us to those we love, no matter where they are.
3. Badger’s Parting Gifts – Susan Varley
A classic tale that highlights the positive memories left behind by loved ones. This book gently encourages children to focus on the joy and wisdom shared with them rather than just the sadness of loss.
4. I Miss You: A First Look at Death – Pat Thomas
Written by a psychotherapist, this book is designed to help children explore their feelings about death with honesty and sensitivity. It also provides practical ways for adults to guide children through grief.
5. When Dinosaurs Die – Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown
A factual and comforting book that helps children understand the different aspects of death, from emotions to funeral rituals. It is informative while remaining age-appropriate.
How to Use These Books to Support a Grieving Child
- Read together – Sharing these stories with a child can open up conversations and reassure them that their feelings are normal.
- Encourage discussion – Ask gentle questions to help them express their thoughts and concerns.
- Provide reassurance – Remind them that it’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even angry about loss.
- Follow their lead – Some children may want to talk a lot, while others may need time to process.
- Model – If you are also impacted by the death then share with the young person how you are feeling and what you are finding helpful. It can be reassuring to see that you are also experiencing a range of feelings and that it is normal for these to fluctuate and change.
Final Thoughts
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and every child will cope in their own way. By using books as a tool, we can help them make sense of loss, offer comfort, and remind them that love never truly disappears.
If you know a child struggling with bereavement, these books can be a valuable resource in offering understanding and emotional support.
If you have any questions or would like to know about other resources to support children and young people after bereavement then please get in touch.
Written by David Billington, Funeral Director at Full Circle Funerals
